5 Warning Signs of Unhealthy Boundaries During the Holidays (and How to Address Them)

The holiday season is often portrayed as a time of joy, connection, and celebration. However, it can also be a time of stress, overwhelm, and emotional strain, particularly when it comes to setting and maintaining healthy boundaries. Here are six warning signs that your boundaries may need some attention this holiday season, along with practical ways to address them:

1. You Feel Constantly Drained

If you’re saying yes to every event, task, or request, you might find yourself physically and emotionally exhausted. Overcommitting can lead to burnout and resentment, making it difficult to enjoy the holidays.

How to Address It:

• Practice saying no with kindness and clarity. For example, "I’d love to help, but I’m not able to take that on right now."

• Prioritize activities that align with your values and bring you joy.

2. You’re Ignoring Your Own Needs

When you’re overly focused on pleasing others, your own needs can fall by the wayside. This might look like skipping meals, sacrificing sleep, or neglecting your mental health.

How to Address It:

• Set aside time for self-care, even if it’s just 15 minutes a day. Some examples of self care include: go for a walk, call a supportive friend or family member, hang out with your pets, read your favorite book.

• Check in with yourself regularly by asking, "What do I need right now?"

3. You Feel Guilty for Saying No

Guilt is a common reaction when setting boundaries, especially if you’re used to prioritizing others. This guilt can make it harder to stick to your decisions.

How to Address It:

• Remind yourself that boundaries are an act of self-respect, not selfishness.

• Practice affirmations like, "It’s okay to prioritize my well-being."

4. You’re Experiencing Frequent Conflict

Unclear or nonexistent boundaries can lead to misunderstandings and tension with family or friends. This might manifest as feeling taken advantage of or having recurring arguments.

How to Address It:

• Communicate your boundaries clearly and calmly. For instance, "I need to leave by 8 PM to get enough rest."

• Use "I" statements to express your feelings and needs without blame.

5. You Feel Resentful Toward Others

Resentment often stems from unmet expectations or feeling like you’re giving more than you’re receiving. It’s a sign that your boundaries may have been crossed.

How to Address It:

• Reflect on what’s causing your resentment and identify where a boundary might be needed.

• Have honest conversations with loved ones about your limits and expectations.

6. You’re Avoiding Certain People or Situations

Avoidance can be a sign that your boundaries aren’t strong enough to protect your emotional well-being. Instead of addressing the issue, you might find yourself withdrawing entirely.

How to Address It:

• Determine what makes you uncomfortable and consider how you can assertively address it.

• Set boundaries in advance to reduce stress, such as limiting the amount of time you spend in challenging environments.

Need Support During the Holidays?

Navigating boundaries can be challenging, especially during the holiday season. If you’re struggling to maintain healthy boundaries or want guidance on how to communicate them effectively, I’m here to help. Contact me at mary@healinglanetherapy.com to schedule a session and take the first step toward a more peaceful and fulfilling holiday season.