Am I Drinking Too Much? Subtle Signs Your Alcohol Use Is Becoming a Coping Strategy
Many people quietly wonder, “Is my drinking starting to get out of hand?”
Maybe you’ve noticed you’re drinking more often, needing more to relax, or using alcohol to get through stress or uncomfortable emotions. You might still be showing up at work, taking care of responsibilities, and functioning well on the outside—but inside, something feels different.
If this is you, you’re not alone. The fact that you’re even asking this question is meaningful, it means a part of you is paying attention.
Alcohol doesn’t typically become a problem all at once, it’s usually a slow progression into worsening issues. It becomes a coping strategy long before it becomes an obvious concern.
Why Drinking as a Coping Mechanism Is Easy to Miss
For many high-achievers, caretakers, helpers, and perfectionists, alcohol becomes a pressure valve, something that provides quick relief when life feels overwhelming. If you’ve always been “the strong one,” it can feel easier to pour a drink than to ask for support, sit with discomfort, or admit that things feel heavy.
Alcohol can temporarily soften:
Anxiety or racing thoughts
Stress from work, school, or other responsibilities
Conflict in relationships
Loneliness or emotional disconnection
Feelings of inadequacy, guilt, or shame
Burnout from helping others or over-functioning
Anxiety in social settings
Over time, drinking stops being “just something you do socially” and becomes the way you transition out of stress, numb out, escape, or finally feel a moment of quiet.
This shift can be subtle, but it’s an important turning point to recognize.
Subtle Signs Your Drinking Is Becoming Emotional Coping
You don’t need daily drinking, DUIs, or major consequences for your relationship with alcohol to deserve attention. Early signs often look like everyday patterns:
1. You're drinking to change your internal state, not for enjoyment.
You drink because you want to feel less anxious, less overwhelmed, more relaxed, or more comfortable socially.
2. Alcohol becomes a reward or relief after stress.
You find yourself thinking, “I just need to get through today so I can finally relax with a drink.”
3. Your tolerance has increased, even slightly.
It takes more than it used to in order to “take the edge off.”
4. You feel defensive when people ask about your drinking.
You minimize (“It’s not that bad”, “I am still showing up to work everyday”), compare (“Other people drink way more”), or keep mental tallies to reassure yourself.
5. Your rules around alcohol keep slipping.
“No weekday drinking” becomes “Maybe just tonight,” which becomes “It’s been a long week, it's fine.”
6. You’re using alcohol to socialize or self-soothe.
You need a drink to feel relaxed at events, on dates, or even at home after work.
7. You’re experiencing next-day anxiety, shame, or emotional fog.
The emotional hangover becomes as draining as the physical one, maybe you feel more anxious, sad, or quick to anger to next day. Maybe you feel less sharp and experience brain fog throughout the day.
8. You’re drinking alone, not necessarily heavily, but more often.
You find yourself drinking alone more regularly and begin to normalize this.
9. Your drinking doesn’t align with the version of yourself you want to be.
Even if nothing “big” is happening, it just doesn’t feel good anymore.
None of these signs mean you have a severe problem with alcohol use. They simply mean your relationship with alcohol deserves care, understanding, and honest reflection before it continues to progress into something that starts interfering in your life.
Why This Matters: Alcohol Can Hide What You Actually Need
Alcohol often becomes a stand-in for things you’re craving on a much deeper level:
Rest you don’t feel you’ve earned
Comfort you don’t know how to ask for
Connection that feels out of reach
Boundaries you struggle to set
A break from carrying more than you should
Quiet from a mind that won’t stop
In the moment, alcohol works until it doesn’t. Eventually, drinking stops addressing the real issue and starts keeping you stuck in the cycle.
How Therapy Helps You Understand & Change Your Relationship with Alcohol
You don’t have to hit “rock bottom” to seek support. In fact, the earlier you seek support and begin addressing the warning signs in your life, the better and much easier.
Therapy isn’t about labeling you or shaming you, but rather it’s about curiosity, compassion, and clarity on what your values are in life and how your drinking has begun to interfere in aligning your life with your values.
As a therapist who specializes in working with people with dual diagnosis, meaning both a substance use disorder and some other mental health symptoms, I help clients:
Understand the emotional function of their drinking
We explore why alcohol became the thing you reach for and begin to identify what else might help you feel grounded, comforted, and in control.
Build coping strategies that actually work
Together, we develop tools that will help you regulate emotions without relying on alcohol to numb or escape.
Heal the patterns underneath the behavior
This might include low self-esteem, disorganized attachment patterns, childhood dynamics, untreated mental health symptoms, trauma, or beliefs about needing to “hold everything together.”
Feel more connected to themselves and their relationships
What most of my clients see is that when their drinking decreases, their relationships begin to become clearer, cohesive and, and they feel more emotionally present.
Decide what kind of relationship you want with alcohol
Whether your goal is cutting back, total abstinence, or simply understanding your patterns, we create a plan that fits your needs and aligns with your core values.
You deserve support that meets you with empathy and understanding, not fear, blame, or shame.
If You’re Wondering Whether You’re Drinking Too Much, You’re Already Paying Attention
You don’t need to wait until drinking becomes “bad enough.”
You don’t need to justify your concern with dramatic stories.
Your feelings are enough. Your questions are enough.
You deserve a life where you feel clear, calm, in control, connected, proud of the way you’re living, and at peace with yourself.
If you’re ready to explore your relationship with alcohol in a safe, compassionate, judgment-free space, I’m here to help. I offer therapy services in person in Houston, TX or virtually across Texas, Indiana, Maryland, D.C., Colorado, Maine, and Minnesota.
Reach out today to begin your healing.